tick-tock, tick-tock…

Three years, three hundred sixty-four days, twenty-three hours, forty minutes, but seriously who’s counting.

Dear Jon;

Oh boy, do I ever miss you.

First I want to start off saying that I want to thank you for the time you shared with me.  Thank you for the life we had. I am not sure that I want to wish for those days or memories again if it means that I’d still loose you and still have to go through the things that I have by myself…  But then again, to have you take my hand and stroke my thumb raw with that ring you wore on your thumb.  (That callous is just clearing up too.)  I would give anything to feel your touch again.  To have you walk by wearing that cologne (perfume) that was always too sweet, I would give anything to have my eyes water like that again.

I got a letter today from the state saying that the non-existent estate owes them $20,000.  The county wants $1,500.  Well, you’re the lucky one, I’ll worry about it.  The lawyer that our friend recommended dropped the ball with your probate.  The county says that the probate is still open and there are still bills to be paid and everything that I turned into them isn’t there or they don’t have.  Just like your will and the paperwork naming me as beneficiary.

Speaking of which.  It is probably a good thing that I haven’t shuffled off yet.  I just took you off as my beneficiary.  Keilan now doesn’t have to share it with anyone.  I’m sure he’ll appreciate a whole stick of Juicy Fruit all to himself.

The job is going well, I took that Catering Supervisor position with the college.  It has been a really steep learning curve and well it has been fun.  All of the hurry up and get it done of the military.  All of the anxious anticipation and last minute work that has to be done to get things accomplished, just like the fire department without the fire and the blood.  I cannot think of anyone more qualified for this job than you.  My biggest trouble is my job’s classification.  It changed with a couple of new laws.  I am not guaranteed 37.5 hours a week, when school is not in session.  So…  I’m going to have to see about unemployment or pick up a second job.  53 years of age looking for work.  What have I done to deserve this?

OH! You’ll be glad to hear; I’m off all of my meds.  No more insulin, no more high blood pressure pills, no more cholesterol pills.  I do still take, but only as needed, the allergy pills. (Yes, Chessie sends his love.)  The diet you help me get started on and started making me watch has paid off.  I got down to 225, right now I’m about 275/78.  I have been working out at the gym, and I’ve put on a couple inches of muscle here and there.  I’ve gotten hash-tagged at school as #daddyaf.  (Yeah, Keilan had to explain that one to me.)

I try to stay in touch with everyone.  Michele keeps butt dialing me.  Not that I mind, but you’d think for a butt that size it would have something to say…  Heck if it’s able to dial it ought to be able to toot, or tweet.

I’ve helped out a couple of times here and there around the old stomping grounds.  Two friends opened up a dessert restaurant just down from the house.  They are doing rather well with it too.  She’s got my lemon curd recipe now and then we are dipping strawberries and cheesecake tonight.  She remembered that it’s that time of year.  She says hello too.

Haven’t seen a lot of Maria lately.  I try to drop in once a week to say hello and to have a sip of something or other.  I am in the shop at least once a week.  She’s doing fish tacos now that I think you would like.  You would recognize a couple of things on the menu.  They don’t taste the same, but you would recognize all the same.

I’m doing well with the bike riding.  I’ve upgraded a couple of times.  I was able to ride 5600 miles last year.  This year, not so much.  Well truth be told, it has only been worth riding for about two months and I have about 900 miles.  I’m hoping to get to do a big ride here soon.  I have come up with an option for doing something BIG.  Incorporating a U-Haul or Rent-a-Van thing.  Loading up bike and gear into a U-Haul, driving to where ever.  Turning it in, then pedaling away.  It would be the cheapest way to do that.  I don’t have to worry about doing a round trip journey.  I suddenly felt like you were rolling your eyes at me…  By years end I will find myself somewhere.

I’ve got to come up with some vacation time or something to do while we are out of school with nothing to do.  We’ll see.

I do not hope to see you anytime soon, except for my dreams.  I could do with a few less hauntings.  And I haven’t heard anything on the iPod lately from you.  You have missed a really good/great album from Adele – she has a couple of tear jerkers on there that I imagine you would be signing to.  Aimee has a new album out.  Sorry, I haven’t bought it yet.  Funds have been tight and I do not have your savy so to be able to find it online.

Know that I love you.  No, I’m not dating.  Doesn’t mean I not having fun, I am just not dating anyone.  Everyone I am interested in, are not interested in me or are married.  Then there is that guy with the convenience chair…  Yeah, I am nearly certain I could hear you laughing you ass off.

I’ll write again soon.

You are loved.